December 2011
46 posts
HOLD THE PHONES! SHAQ'S BIRTHDAY IS IN 68 DAYS!
istodayshaqsbirthday:
It's been awhile
I don’t know what it is but after a week or so of Tumblring, I always stop. I like to think that it’s my way of harnessing creativity but I’m really just eating snacks. Anyway, I’m in the middle of one my snack/no post periods. So, uh, sorry.
Absence always beats forcing it. I was going to post Bat Romance, my followup to All of the Dogs, but I stopped...
1 tag
It sad when you’re at the point in life where you wish time would pass faster just so you can blog about how it’s not Shaq’s birthday.
But only, kinda.
1 tag
NAH IT'S IN 71 DAYS!
istodayshaqsbirthday:
1 tag
2 tags
Turns out
wearing a cash hat and answering questions is an easy way to get rid of a bunch of followers. Dang!
1 tag
Bought a new hat today
hope u like it lol
Anonymous asked: I have a huge friend crush on you.
Anonymous asked: whats your preferred vehicle for caffeine?
Anonymous asked: Do you have a girlfriend?
frownygirl asked: Do you still eat breakfast cereal? What is the meaning of life?
meganomalous asked: If your life was one Ke$ha song, which one would it be and why?
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Do you smoke weed?
Bonjour. I blog.: I got a new follower. →
peteispete:
And he’s kind of tumblr famous, which makes me nervous. Like, what if I post something offensive or boring and he hates me and leaves? What if that happens?
The possibilities are endless. He could read my border-line clever posts that mostly consist of me trying to be genuine and sounding kind of…
Whoops! This is super flattering and awesome and being called Tumblr famous...
LOL Man of the Year
Cancel all your plans. You got a standup special to watch.
We all know Louis C.K. is the best standup comedian in the world but did you know that this guy is the worst? Because he totally is and it is awesome.
Imagine that joke a thousands time but varied slightly and with extreme body gestures and its told in a bad Jerry Seinfeld whine.
But its not just about the comedy with Kenn Kington. ...
1 tag
So I got 76 followers in the last 24 hours. I thank Caragh for 99 percent of this. 1 percent to the spirit of Christmas. 76 is like way too many new followers and I’m trying to explain this to a Lexus dealer and he’s like “shut up about your followers and present actual money if you want to buy this Lexus” and I’m all “dawg, 76 new...
Kanye West Saved My Life: How One of Music’s Most... →
I rarely post things that aren’t mine because I’m an asshole but Katie is awesome and everything she writes should be projected onto the moon so everyone has to read it or else they can’t look at the moon anymore.
In life, you will always regret the Jar Jar Binks...
I cannot wait anymore business days.
2 tags
What Up Ladies: 5 Reasons Why You Should Date...
Vanilla hands: Strong manly dudes get cut and they lift things and they have high pain thresholds. Weak, frail dudes have very low pain thresholds. Things like dry skin are crippling. So to combat this, weak men need moisturizer. Gallons of it. Shea butter on cocoa butter on Aloe Vera. This means our hands smell like vanilla and it helps you forget that human beings are sometimes gross.
...
3 tags
Anonymous asked: I like your style. What do you do? or what do you want to do?
divorcefromreality asked: I like your blog. I like the way you write. I like your memes and I like the way you are proud of yourself :) Also, to the girl who asked if you knew you were white, what colour is Eminem's skin? <3 love your blog
It's Saturday night and I just bought a Jar Jar...
Money isn’t real and I’m lonely, you guys.
5 tags
1 tag
1 tag
“You know you’re white, right?”
Last night, at a party, I made the mistake of telling a girl that I was a rapper. I wasn’t boasting or anything. But she was talking about my friend, Chris, who is in my super cool rap group, Dad Rap, so I told her and she asked me if I knew I’m white.
I forget my response but it doesn’t matter. It just...
1 tag
1 tag
3 tags
2 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Another terrible GIF
Round 2 of the me trying to make GIFS.
It had so much hope. Take that scene from Batman Begins and add a Kanye line over it but make it about bats. So much hope. Those are both cool relevant things. But too bad that this sucks and I hate it.
LOL ALL MY FOLLOWERS JUST LEFT
(That LOL was a misdirection. I’m actually weeping)
1 tag
2 tags
toodrunkfortheriver asked: Have you ever thought about how weird it is when you're holding something and you have to switch hands? So you have to hand it to yourself! It's so damn weird! I don't know why I'm asking you this, but your post about grabbing things and the brain reminded me. So, yep. That's about it. Have a nice day.