March 2012
65 posts
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Spring Break Party Time
Yeaaaah, Spring Break is next week. I’m talking mojitos, LMFAO beach parties, getting your name printed on piece of rice that is then put inside of a necklace, beer fountains, and dolphin rides in the beautiful Cayman Islands.
Actually, I’ll be home. Probably laying around a lot. But in the spirit of Spring Break, I’m going to post a video a day talking about my crazy Spring...
February 2012
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I want to have my own gentleman’s club called The Streep Club and it just a bunch of TVs playing Meryl Streep movies set to Def Leppard music. Men can put a dollar down if they want the movie to skip ahead to a Meryl centric scene. The champagne room is just a room where you can watch any Meryl Streep movie you want as long as you got the cash. Why waste your dollars on sad, broken women...
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I spent 10 minutes picking out a wine at the grocery store because I’m classier than ya’ll and then I immediately dropped it on the sidewalk like a goon and an old lady told me to chin up.
I then went to Taco Bell and when I took the first bite of my Cheesy Gordita, Taco Bell grease poured out all over my sweatshirt, jeans, and jacket. The idea of washing a jacket completely eludes...
I get nervous when I lose followers
because I’m gonna start plugging my new rap project soon (it’s not even joke rap :/) and then it’s gonna be a ghost town in here.
I feel bad because a lot of you have been following me for awhile and I feel like I owe it to you all to, idk, maybe not become a rapper but whoops, it’s too late. I already spent 300 dollars on recording equipment and a fitted hat. Point of...
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Laying in bed all day because I’m sick, because I’m pathetic and I’m too tired and lazy for photoshop so I probably won’t do anything and I don’t even feel bad because that Shaqira thing gives me a pass til Thursday. Sorry about this post. I just wanted to type some werds and now I have. Ask me stuff LOL.
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austin-translation asked: But where are the dogs, Chris? All of the dogs, all of the dogs?
Why I sleep through all my classes
Every morning I wake up and I spend about 5 minutes trying to figure out what’s real and what’s not. Am I really at Disney with my ex? We do not speak. Do I really have a new cellphone powered by lazers? I don’t know how that would work but it would be awesome. I mingle with people I’ve lost so casually like they have always been there and it takes time for me to...
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Why Assholes should just stop trying
I was on Facebook today and I saw an ad that said something like, “J.D ROVE MUSIC. Be the first to hear the new album” and out of some weird form of curiosity that I cannot explain, I clicked on it. I was then sent to his Facebook fan page and I then immediately yawned and did something else. I obviously was never going to ever care about this dude but as a creative, I thought that...
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Anonymous asked: how was your valentine's day, or just your day in general?
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a Valentine's Day Poem
It’s 2:30 and I just drank a beer. One. I couldn’t find anymore in the house. And I’m eating buffalo chicken pizza out of a bowl like it’s cereal and when you fall, you can fall very hard and I’m starting to see that in everything I do.
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Great News
I’m now uploading this picture every time I answer questions. IT’S GOING TO MAKE THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE VERY FUN, DON’T YOU AGREE?
Anonymous asked: ugh, this blog is amazing.
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The Walking Dead writer's session
Writer 1: Fans have been complaining about the show’s pacing. They don’t think there are enough zombies. We should add more action like in the pilot.
Writer 2: Whatever. It’s called ‘The Walking Dead’ for a reason, you dope. How about for the midseason opener, we make it about Rick trying to get Herschel to leave a bar but he doesn’t want to because...
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I spent all morning trying to make real music with Garageband and after 2 hours, I ended up with a 1 minute song of me singing over a guitar solo and a glockenspiel about having fun at the mall in autotune. I regret so much.
Anonymous asked: What is your ideal "type" of girl?
Anonymous asked: i could come off anon except for the fact that my blog is terrible and mostly just things that i've reblogged from other people. also, i think you look quite handsome in that picture.
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a sneak peek into my modern translation of...
Translated from the first folio.
HAMLET
Yo, how long does it take for dead bodies to disappear?
First Clown
I don’t know. Like 8-9 years or something. 10 if the dude made leather jackets for a living.
HAMLET
Shit’s bonk, Dawg. Why would making leather jackets matter?
First Clown
LOL. If you make leather jackets all the time, your skin gets leathery and it makes your body...
Anonymous asked: I think you're incredibly funny and extremely good looking.
adorablyvulgar asked: Are you sure you don't know why anyone would ask you anything, or do you really know that there are people out there with plenty of questions for you and you're just being modest? Are you one of those girls on Facebook who has an entire album called "pix of me(:" and every single picture is captioned with "omg im so ugly!"? Are you one of those girls, Chris? I...
Finally, some new friggin followers up in here.
I’ll try a little harder to make you guys not leave. Ask me stuff or don’t. I don’t know why you would, to be honest. All I did was photoshop a goatee onto another dudes’s face.
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