Posts tagged bestof

1. Vanilla hands: Strong manly dudes get cut and they lift things and they have high pain thresholds.  Weak, frail dudes have very low pain thresholds.  Things like dry skin are crippling.  So to combat this, weak men need moisturizer.  Gallons of it.  Shea butter on cocoa butter on Aloe Vera.  This means our hands smell like vanilla and it helps you forget that human beings are sometimes gross.
2. Probably won’t fall off a cliff:  You don’t have to worry about your frail Boo getting ripped apart by lions or shot in the face by Colombian drug barons during an off the grid hiking trip when your Boo Bear is too affected by sunlight to get out of bed.  
3. Will do dumb impractical things from movies in the name of love:  Sensitive dudes will write letters everyday.  Sensitive dudes will run the 47 miles to the airport terminal you are boarding because a sassy black woman told him “go to her, sugah” after listening to him tell his breakup story between sobs.
4. Will never buy you store brand:  A sensitive weakling knows the difference between St. Ives and the Walgreens ripoff.  There are times in life where this difference could be your life.  
5. They really need you to date them:  Sensitive people need meaning and purpose.  They believe love can save their lives.  If left on their own too long, sensitive dudes will spend their days farming WOW gold and smoking weed out of shitty metal pipes in their unmade beds while desperately hoping that somehow they can get back all the time they’ve been wasting. Waiting for you.